u FUCKING HELL I HATE THE INTERNET! I just lost everything I wrote about! Motherfucker! What A CUNT!!!! And my shoes smell so bad that they are wofting up the desk and fucking my nose, which once again proves that running shoes and raves don't mix. But as I was writing before I lost it all.. Stixx is a fucked cunt! He's supposed to be laying off the weed and cigarettes, in fact as per doctors orders so that he can get his crooked face fixed, he has to quit it all together. But he doesn't care. He won't quit, in fact, I don't think he'll listen to the doctors until they tell him that he's fucked his chances of ever getting surgery and he has to live with his crooked face forever because of his own actions and ignorance.. But that's my opinion. As for recording money, apparently Stixx's is gone. He needed it to cover for his stupid face implants to fix his crooked face. In my opinion, and I don't see why anyone else doesn't think about this, is that stixx likes to spend all the money he gets on drugs, not a little bit of drugs, ALL OF THE DRUGS! So I think that he lied to us about his parents taking the cash to fix his stupid face and spent the cash on drugs and really doesn't give a fuck about anything. He wont get a job. He's comfortable living for free. FUCKING STIXX! LEARN HOW TO SET UP AN AMPLIFIER!! DUMB CUNT! I hope they turn your face into this... YOU FUCKING DUMB CUNT!!! Austin. [posted by Sir Anal Du Pua at 9:36 AM] [e-mail] [website]

u Wednesday, November 05, 2003

u B-O-B. Spell that shit backwards, what'd it say. Same motherfuckin' shit. I don't think anyone in the world understands how much I want to play in the National Football League or be friends with black dudes. Why am I searching for this? Firstly, the NFL is filled with black dudes and black people are the coolest motherfuckin' people in the entire universe and there is a ridiculous amount of shit in the universe according to last nights pre-session discussion with our token black friend Sam. But other than that.. We practiced again last night and we're really starting to get the shine back we had some time ago. I guess we're all pumped up and ready to record. Its like our bodies are preparing to give birth and the energy is flowing without even having to turn it on. But my break is over.. I will add more to this at a later date.. However to paint a picture in your mind.. The blacker and fatter you are.. The cooler you'll be... For example.. His dick may be small but at tea end of the day, I've never seen anyone else running on a rollercoaster like this motherfucker! Austin. [posted by Sir Anal Du Pua at 2:13 PM] [e-mail] [website]

u Tuesday, November 04, 2003

u Projectile Vomit That's right! Projectile vomit. It happened again. It always happened when I have a bad morning.. Last night.. Dennis, Clay and I went to check out some bands. We started at The Basement watching the Bondi Cigars which is a band my mate Frank from Boston plays drums in. It was cool but as the set drew to a close we left and ended up a Soup Plus listening to the most bullshit jazz band. There were 15 horns, a drummer, a bass player a guitarist and a piano player and it was free. It was awesome! We got 3 beers for $9 and I think that's the cheapest price I've paid for a schooner in the city that hasn't been watered down to some type of sheeps urine.. But after the jazz we bought a bottle of scotch and headed back to Dennis where we all got extolling drunk. Dennis passed out early and Clay and I continued talking about bands and drugs and hoes and stuff. He wants to put together a hip hop outfit with a real band but a drum machine or something. I'm going to play in it. So yeah we got pissed, Clay went home.. I went to sleep. I got up ok and when I got to work my stomach didn't agree with anything. It got to the point where I had to drag my ass out of the chair I sit in and make my way to the bathroom, holding it all in.. I got the cubicle and closed the door and BANG! Like a bullet out a gun I had wall to wall projectile cubicle vomit going on and it was red and slimy and very very angry. It went everywhere, I've never seen so much vomit come out of one blast.. It was awesome.. Austin. [posted by Sir Anal Du Pua at 12:30 PM] [e-mail] [website]

u Monday, November 03, 2003

u Who's the coldest man in all of the land? The Algonquin Air Conditioner Man! Austin. [posted by Sir Anal Du Pua at 2:11 PM] [e-mail] [website]

u Sunday, November 02, 2003

u SUGAR RAY SCHROEDER THE CHAMP! I think that's how you spell his last name. Anyway, he ended up becoming the Heavyweight Champion of Friday nights Halloween bash even after dislocating his shoulder in a clash of the air swings.. It was awesome. There were lots of wonderful shenanigans, a smoke machine, lights and lamps, costumes (my god there were actually costumes.. Dennis Cahill came as the McDonald's Corporation.. Dennis Jordan got axed and jumped through the bathroom window, leaving the bathroom locked and everyone freaking outside while him and I giggled with delight.) A live band who sucked the Queens muscular dick.. Women and booze and weed and everything.. All kinds of stuff went down but there is a period in the night where I don't know anything that happened.. I will have to leave it at that. TRASHED! QUITE POSSIBLY, THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE! SEX APPEAL TO THE MAX! National Beer Day As always, the greatest day in November returned again this year for another display of wonderful antics, wonderful games and way too many beers... When I arrived, the snake races were winding up so I had to wait and drink until the next event which Jeff and I managed to get it on in the ring or Bounce Off or something like that.. Basically you have this huge rubber ball thing and you have to run at each other and if you knock the other guy out of the ring you win. Right.. It was supposed to be best out of three but me and Jeff went 2 for 2 and I was called the winner when it should have been a draw.. However due the drunken scorekeeping I couldn't complain and took the win and the pride like a man while Jeff resulted to the wagon for quite possibly the last pass out he will have in that automobile. Hats Off to the Porn Wagon.. Which as of Monday will be retired and left out of service as Jeff has sold his soul to General Motors and has decided to buy a Commodore. Good luck Jeff.. And may the Porn Wagon rest in peace for an eternity and may the smell of bong water and cigarettes grace its interior for years to come. But anyway, as Desh continued to dominate in the ring.. And some dude broke the rules and sidestepped causing a ruckus around the ring.. The party continued and so did the drunkenness and then some guy come out of his house and was all like "I'm going to shoot you".. stixx was telling him to go to bed. It was amusing. Very amusing.. Allan tried to cook sausages and proved to me why you never get trashed cunts to cook anything.. It turned into a sausage fight but I think everyone got fed at the end of the night.. I happened to blank out again but I ended up at Mr. P's with food and the 3 beers I took from the pools.. Drank them and went home for a nice rest.. Got up this morning and did nothing but clean the band room.. It;s been almost a year since we cleaned that place. It was well in due for a head to toe brushing.. That I did. And then proceeded to clean the living room where I found that the people responsible for throwing the Halloween bash namely Sophie had swept all the rubbish form the floor under the couch.. When I moved the furniture I could fill a beer box with the rubbish.. That's not on Sophie.. When I see you next I'm tippin whatever I have in my hand all over you.. That's when you get when you don't clean up after your friends make a mess in someone else's house.. YOU FUCKING DIRTY HOE! So now I have returned home to retire from what has been possibly the best weekend I've had in a number of months.. With only one bad though on my mind.. That fact that someone has decided to blame me for stealing all the beers from National Beer Day.. I will make this public.. I DID NOT STEAL THE BEERS FROM NATIONAL BEER DAY. I TOOK 3 HOME WITH ME AND ONE TO THE VAN THAT I WAS DRINKING.. I PLEAD NOT GUILTY FOR THE CRIME OF THEFT AN NATIONAL BEER DAY. But I did stick the sausage roll to the ceiling of Mr. P's kitchen.. It was caked on really bad but I think I got it all off.. Speaking of "GETTING IT OFF".. My erotic dancing took the cake. I can't wait to see the video.. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! Austin. [posted by Sir Anal Du Pua at 11:07 PM] [e-mail] [website]