The Monkey's Cheese!

Thursday, September 9

Life is Wonderful..

Not as wonderful as rice pudding.

Now, Germany's nice, but it's really about how much beer you drink.

Time for teaching.

It's only true if it makes you laugh, but you only understand if it makes you cry.

Miracles have no order, or worth, a small miracle is equal to a giant miracle, the miracle of child birth is as important as the miracle of checking out your turd for chunky bits.

Same goes for apparitions, rainbows, unicorns and lentil soup.

Do not be fooled by the ego's miracles. To be caught up in a miracle is to be caught up in the past, to be in love with something that is gone. In itself it is a trap.

Enjoy miracles, enjoy enlightenend experiences, but never loose the truth of the now reality, the truth of Eris, the truth of the SubGenius, the truth of the 8 and the 1.
(Most importantly, the truth of feta cheese)

More pretty lights for the moths. More illusion. More ego delusion. It is all miracles and enlightened experiences are. .

Never whistle while you're pissing. If you do you will be of 'two-mind'. Enjoy the miracle of urination.

For a fun experiment, drink a glass of water while you pee and feel the wholeness and interconnectedness of your whole body.

None of this matters. None of this is NEW.

Wait for others to come out before you go in.

Time for lesson number TWO (Charge is $59.95)

A ZEN STORY
by Camden Benares, The Count of Five, Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal

A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled. One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate." He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him. His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting there was.
The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead."
Hearing this, the man was enlightened.

vomit is yum

[ posted by Mr.P @ 16:50 ] 0 Comments

Monday, September 6

My weekend was good, on Friday I stayed at home, dogging Adams' 22nd birthday and watched telly. I dogged it cuz i had no money and i'd dogged Jeffs birthday 2 years ago plus I also dogged fathers day, so at least i'm spreading the dog.

Saturday was better, though most of the day was spent hanging out at home playing with my remote control car, we also had a jam that reminded me that we're fucking rock gods in hiding, we started work on a couple of newies as well.

In the evening a decision was made to go that degenerate pit of human filth.. Panthers, so the Austinator, Al, Jeffro & I went out and got pissed on jugs & TEQUILA SHOTS. Now, i don't know how this happenned, but we ended up having a really good night, it's not like we did anything that spun out, we just got drunk and hung oput, but in the course of the night we ran into a dude we'd met at sublime & India (Rachels violinist from Melbourne) which was a spin. To cut a short story even shorter, Jeff got drunk, stomped on a glass that had fallen over and got kicked out by security while Austin and Allan promptly followed.

By what was probably caused by a strange cosmic alignment on my chart (and my nicely toasted state of inebriation) I ended up talking to a CHICK and her friend (we had all been talking to them for a while, their names were Yvette and Shahn) . I ended up staying behind to talk more shit with the gals.

Like General Hudson from the Australian reserve once said..
'Alcohol works in mysterious ways'.

I ended up getting in and taking Vettie home... It wasnt spectacular. It was drunk and fumbly, but that's half the fun.
I felt quite good about it all until later, you know, you know, when you wonder if you were too drunk.. did i make a fool of myself? did i take advantage? did i really get kicked out of panthers?

But the answers have come back, and they are : no, no and no.

Life is fun, no one got hurt and I felt good in the morning, she asked me to walk her to the door, called me babe and kissed me goodbye. That's a nice ending I think. So yeah i got some, cuz i wasnt trying, cuz i wasnt looking, cuz i was drunk and open to it and cuz im a super sexy studly Mexican god.

On Jeff & Hipocrisy..

This actually really bugs me, not cuz it's Jeff either, just the attitude behind it.

Basically, Jeff (this is not solely about you Jeff) likes to put down others and make a big point of it, he's extremely loud and he often goes off at me for being immature and not considering others around me.

The hipocrisy of it is how loud, obnoxious and rude Jeff can often be in public areas where there's kids and other more 'pink' members of the community around. I don't care if you put me down (it just makes you look like a fool, a)for associating with me and b)trying to bignote yourself. Anyone with sense will know this, so don't try to pick up chicks using this strategy, it's lame and doesn't work) but I do think it's a tad hypocritical and also, general bad manners.

A gentleman, which I assume is what you would like to pretend to be, behaves like a gentleman.

It's not a big deal and you were drunk and frivolous, but I'm just pointing something out (again) which I think is important and you should be aware of. (I know this sounds gay, I dont care)

A wise man once said.. 'You can find the truth of the universe inside a Potato'

That wise man is me. =)