The Monkey's Cheese!

Friday, June 24

I left Mexico City two months behind schedule, a series of events had conspired to keep me there for longer than planned, but with everything now taken care of, and my allergies playing up, leaving the safety of a family home and the intoxicating smog and pollution of a decaying mega motropolis was of prime priority.

With me, a backpack carrying a few shirts and shorts, toiletries, and medicine, my cheap Mexican guitar, and a dodgy sleeping bag barely held together by rainbow suspenders.

My grandmother had packed me two 'tortas', (a traditional type of sandwich cross burger), two apples, and given me 500 pesos to help my measly savings that I naively hoped would get me through to Guatemala and the Yucatan. She was slightly worried, but blessed me, and "let God take care of him now".

The departure day was a Wednesday and I arrived just in time to catch the coach out.

A day before leaving and maybe as a warning from god, two scammers tried to get to all my freshly exchanged cash. They had a tip off from the bank teller im sure. I didn't fall, but it was close. I decided then that a money belt would be worn at all times, with a decoy wallet in my backpocket to be sure.

The bus roared to full speed as we hit the highway and rolled out of the thick, infinitely sprawling cityscape and towards Oaxaca (Wah/hah/kah). A hilly landscape unfolded before us, revealling a mostly barren and depressing vista. I hoped this would change as we got further from the city but was dissappointed. Cactuses and the ocassional shrub adorned the bleak brown landscape, while hungry goats would mill around hoping to find some green to mulch on and survive. Flanked the whole trip by mountains dead and wasted, raped of all their natural resources and beauty for a few 'pesos' and maybe some political points, I felt ashamed to be human.

When I reached Oaxaca it was raining. My contact was at 9:30 and it was only 3. I headed for a local bar to drink my fair share of cheap local beer.

I met Yosef at the "Labastida" a local park, after getting enebriated, playing my guitar for a pair of snotty faced 5 year old locals, and waiting at the wrong park. I realized it was the wrong park a minute before we were meant to meet, got some directions and ran to the Labastida.

---

"Murdoch!!"

I sigh with relief.

We walk to his stay nearby while introducing ourselves.

Yosef has been living in Oaxaca for a year and a half as an English teacher, he has no money to get back to the states and he is overstaying his Visa, making him an American illegal in Mexico. We laugh at the irony of his situation.

As we enter the door to his place, the first thing he asks is if i'd like to get high and I smile.

Rolling a spliff with his housemate Lobo (the wolf), a Mexican writer who left the city to get some focus; we are soon discussing Huxley and Orwell, I say I found Huxley more impacting than Orwell, and Lobo tells me that Huxley would have liked that, since he was a big fan of Orwell.

"Orwell was making a comment on Communism" states Lobo.

I say that he was making a comment on society as a whole and he agrees.

Yosef and I go for some cheap food around the corner, then to a nightclub which is full. I left my ID behind but it turns out I need it, (in Mexico?) so we head to a dirty club across the road where I pretend not to speak spanish properly and get in without a problem. I soon learn that American tourists are the worst. The bar is crowded and steamy, local men are making moves to dance with the tourist girls who oblige if only for a laugh, I'm bored and tired.

We go back to Yosefs to crash after a few more pipes.

Mosquitoes feast on my hand through the night.

[ posted by Pablo @ 10:03 ] 0 Comments

I am in Oaxaca and I am happy.

This is a very nice place, good weather, nice vibe, sort of touristy enough to feel cool but not enough to feel not cool. Nice cafes. Cheap Beer. Lots to see and do.

I am going to be writing a Keroucian tale.

From now on, that will be my blog.

[ posted by Pablo @ 09:44 ] 0 Comments

Wednesday, June 22

I just had two dudes try to scam my money, it was a good scam, i almost fell for it. Id just come out of the bank after changing a large ammount of money, and this guy comes up and asks me for help in finding a place he needed to go to to change some cheques, he said he couldnt read or write, so started to help him, then he stopped another dude (scammer 2) and asked him for help too, so we're both helping this guy, we say sure no probs, we'll take u to the bank to change your money, so scammer 1 says, i have to go get My little brother he's 8 and waiting for me around the corner, we go to look for his brother and he isnt there, so scammer 1 acts all freaked out and says he has to wait there for his brother, and if one of us could go change one of his 3 cheques and leave behind some security, so scammer 2 says, ok i'll go, here you (me) hold my wallet, so i say sure no probs. I wait with scammer 1 and scammer 2's wallet for scammer 1's brother and for scammer 2 to come back with the money, scammer 2 comes back and says, i changed the money it was no problem, i told the bank manager the story and that a young dude (me) was going to go change a second cheque, here's a ticket he gave me (this is where is start to get suspicious, which i already was a bit, because the ticket didnt have HSBC on it, which was the bank the guy had supposedly gone to) but anyway, i take the cheque and ticket and head to the bank, but they say, hey leave us some security, and im like, er.. i dont have anything of value, and so scammer 1 says, how about your wallet in your back pocket (SUSS!) and im like, ha, im not leaving that, so scammer 2 is like, come on, i left my wallet with you, you leave your wallet with me, you can trust me because i dont know this guy, and im like, ill leave my wallet, without money, and you give me your wallet, and then ill do it, and scammer 2 is like, come on you can trust me, and starts forcing the issue, i get this weird feeling, and i snap and go, you know what, fuck that, you can find someone else im not getting involved in this, i walk off and they start following me, i had to lose them in a movie style thing where i crossed the road, a bus came, i got on and took off. The last thing i saw was the two arguing between themselves.

Ive also been told to not accept joints from kids at the beach, because they have a scam with the cops where once u have the j, the cops come out and put you in jail and dont let you out unless you pay 10,000 pesos. Then they split the money. The bastards. I was really looking forward to smoking a doobie in a mexican beach.

[ posted by Pablo @ 05:54 ] 0 Comments

Friday, June 17

'He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice ... Heroism at command, senseless brutality, deplorable love-of-country stance - how violently I hate all this; how despicable and ignoble war is ... I would rather be torn to shreds than be part of so base an action. It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.'

-- Albert Einstein

[ posted by Pablo @ 06:07 ] 0 Comments

Wednesday, June 15

Last night i went to a transsexual mexican strip show in a place called Garibaldi (Kings Cross multiplied by ten and full of Mariachis and Trannies).. you havent lived till you've been to one of those, it was the singular most grotesque, depressing, exciting, titillating, disturbing, uncomfortable and funny moment of my trip. I also went to a thing called sonic vision, it's a giant 360 degree cinema dome, the biggest in the world, and you lie down and watch this incredible 3d scenes with music playing along to them, it was composed by moby and had music by the flaming lips, bjork, white zombie, radiohead, bowie etc..

[ posted by Pablo @ 15:22 ] 0 Comments

Teotihuacan

The paint on the picture above is about 1000 years old.

This photo is a good metaphor of Mexican politics.

[ posted by Pablo @ 14:57 ] 0 Comments

Tuesday, June 14

1. Dolores Olmedo, 2. Market, 3 . Market (dead chickens in front of Virgin), 4. Agave (where tequila comes from), 5 & 6. Churches in the city, 7. Bellas Artes museum, 8. Church.

[ posted by Pablo @ 06:24 ] 0 Comments

Saturday, June 11

It is really hot here at the moment, which I imagine it isnt in Australia. It sucks because since there's no houses (only cactus) its hard to get in the shade and not get stung by needles.

[ posted by Pablo @ 04:29 ] 0 Comments

I have a new friend, his name is Aldis, he is a total gigolo, he's got sugar mammas all over the place. He took me out to see the trannies on the strip, they are better looking than the women! It was disgusting, titillating and fascinating. We drive around and talk about his sexual conquests, which are neverending. On friday we're going to watch the Luchas!! YES! and on Saturday we're going to a place called garibaldi, which is full of mariachis, and drunk tourists.

[ posted by Pablo @ 04:28 ] 0 Comments

Public transport here is awesome, for 2 pesos you can catch a bus anywhere, thats like 25 cents, and the metro system is like our trains but theres a train every 2 minutes, and you can go anywhere you want for the same price : 2 pesos. Theres trams, and share vans too, and taxis are around 5 pesos per k. I cant wait to get out of this city however, ive gone from living at sea level in a clean air environment, to living 2500 meters above sea level in one of the smoggiest most poluted cities in the world. This means ive got allergies, i wake up with sniffles and watery eyes, my heart beats slower (cuz of the altitude) and i have less energy. Ive gotten more used to it and im much better now than before but it sort of sucks, i cant wait to get out of the city now, as cool as it is.

[ posted by Pablo @ 04:26 ] 0 Comments

Three things that are fucked about Mexico.

1. The @ is not on the keyboards, i dont know how to get it up, i actually have to go to another page and copy it order to use it. FUCKED!

2. Toilet seats dont stay up.

3. EVERYONE loves Placebo.

[ posted by Pablo @ 04:26 ] 0 Comments

I bought a guitar today. It is a "requinto" which is a small tradditional mexican guitar, and its really pretty. I also went to the templo mayor, It was really interesting... Columbus discovered The New America around the end of the 1400's while he was trying to prove the world was round and that he could get to india by going the other way (thats why american natives are now called indians). He was sponsored by the spanish queen and he sailed in the nina the pinta and the santa maria. after he discovered it he went back and told everyone about the crazy bountiful place he'd found, so Hernan Cortez was sent to conquer it. When he got to the new america he was treated like a god, because the prophecies of the aztecs said that Moctezuma, one of their great kings, had prophesized that he would one day return from the sea, and he would be a white man. The aztecs throught Hernan was the returned king Moctezuma, he took advantage of the deal, lived well, then slaughtered everyone around 1520's. In less than 100 years most of the natives were killed, all their pyramids were destroyed and churches were built on top of them. Typical. There's a lot of churches and roads and museums that sit on the peak of great pyremids that cant be accessed by archareologists because they.. have churches and museums on top of them.

[ posted by Pablo @ 04:25 ] 0 Comments

i am not a vegeterian.. though i am aware that the ammount of oestrogen used in chickens to make them grow quicker is causing girls to go through puberty at ever younger ages, and of the ever increasing cancer rates due to the huge ammounts of antibiotics used in meat to sterilize all the diseases that cows in factory farming conditions are prone to, as well as sterilizing the urea (piss) that covers the meat which is involuntarily and spasmodically ejected by the animals as a reaction to the shock of getting cattle prodded before being painfully beheaded.. i still eat meat. The way i understand it is that there are some important amino acids that can only be found in meat, amino acids are the building blocks of proteins, and proteins are the building blocks of muscle. There are around 21-28 prime amino acids. think of them as an alphabet, the letters form together to make words (proteins). However, the vowels, (5 of the most important amino acids) come from meat only, you cant even get them in meat flavoured tofu. Without eating meat, your body cant form complete words (proteins). You need meat or you cant form the proper proteins that your body needs and eventually you end up looking like a hare krishna. Also id feel hypocritical eating plants and not meat, i have a book called "the secret life of plants" and its about these tests some scientists did where they hooked up a plant to a lie detector test in a room with 5 other plants, all the other plants were systematicaly destroyed by one of the scientists before the one that was hooked up to the test. By the time they got to the last plant it was literally off the dial. they did more tests and found that plants feel forms of pain and fear..

In conclusion: dont marry a carrot.

[ posted by Pablo @ 04:25 ] 0 Comments

Tuesday, June 7