The Monkey's Cheese!

Saturday, June 11

It is really hot here at the moment, which I imagine it isnt in Australia. It sucks because since there's no houses (only cactus) its hard to get in the shade and not get stung by needles.

[ posted by Mr.P @ 04:29 ] 0 Comments

I have a new friend, his name is Aldis, he is a total gigolo, he's got sugar mammas all over the place. He took me out to see the trannies on the strip, they are better looking than the women! It was disgusting, titillating and fascinating. We drive around and talk about his sexual conquests, which are neverending. On friday we're going to watch the Luchas!! YES! and on Saturday we're going to a place called garibaldi, which is full of mariachis, and drunk tourists.

[ posted by Mr.P @ 04:28 ] 0 Comments

Public transport here is awesome, for 2 pesos you can catch a bus anywhere, thats like 25 cents, and the metro system is like our trains but theres a train every 2 minutes, and you can go anywhere you want for the same price : 2 pesos. Theres trams, and share vans too, and taxis are around 5 pesos per k. I cant wait to get out of this city however, ive gone from living at sea level in a clean air environment, to living 2500 meters above sea level in one of the smoggiest most poluted cities in the world. This means ive got allergies, i wake up with sniffles and watery eyes, my heart beats slower (cuz of the altitude) and i have less energy. Ive gotten more used to it and im much better now than before but it sort of sucks, i cant wait to get out of the city now, as cool as it is.

[ posted by Mr.P @ 04:26 ] 0 Comments

Three things that are fucked about Mexico.

1. The @ is not on the keyboards, i dont know how to get it up, i actually have to go to another page and copy it order to use it. FUCKED!

2. Toilet seats dont stay up.

3. EVERYONE loves Placebo.

[ posted by Mr.P @ 04:26 ] 0 Comments

I bought a guitar today. It is a "requinto" which is a small tradditional mexican guitar, and its really pretty. I also went to the templo mayor, It was really interesting... Columbus discovered The New America around the end of the 1400's while he was trying to prove the world was round and that he could get to india by going the other way (thats why american natives are now called indians). He was sponsored by the spanish queen and he sailed in the nina the pinta and the santa maria. after he discovered it he went back and told everyone about the crazy bountiful place he'd found, so Hernan Cortez was sent to conquer it. When he got to the new america he was treated like a god, because the prophecies of the aztecs said that Moctezuma, one of their great kings, had prophesized that he would one day return from the sea, and he would be a white man. The aztecs throught Hernan was the returned king Moctezuma, he took advantage of the deal, lived well, then slaughtered everyone around 1520's. In less than 100 years most of the natives were killed, all their pyramids were destroyed and churches were built on top of them. Typical. There's a lot of churches and roads and museums that sit on the peak of great pyremids that cant be accessed by archareologists because they.. have churches and museums on top of them.

[ posted by Mr.P @ 04:25 ] 0 Comments

i am not a vegeterian.. though i am aware that the ammount of oestrogen used in chickens to make them grow quicker is causing girls to go through puberty at ever younger ages, and of the ever increasing cancer rates due to the huge ammounts of antibiotics used in meat to sterilize all the diseases that cows in factory farming conditions are prone to, as well as sterilizing the urea (piss) that covers the meat which is involuntarily and spasmodically ejected by the animals as a reaction to the shock of getting cattle prodded before being painfully beheaded.. i still eat meat. The way i understand it is that there are some important amino acids that can only be found in meat, amino acids are the building blocks of proteins, and proteins are the building blocks of muscle. There are around 21-28 prime amino acids. think of them as an alphabet, the letters form together to make words (proteins). However, the vowels, (5 of the most important amino acids) come from meat only, you cant even get them in meat flavoured tofu. Without eating meat, your body cant form complete words (proteins). You need meat or you cant form the proper proteins that your body needs and eventually you end up looking like a hare krishna. Also id feel hypocritical eating plants and not meat, i have a book called "the secret life of plants" and its about these tests some scientists did where they hooked up a plant to a lie detector test in a room with 5 other plants, all the other plants were systematicaly destroyed by one of the scientists before the one that was hooked up to the test. By the time they got to the last plant it was literally off the dial. they did more tests and found that plants feel forms of pain and fear..

In conclusion: dont marry a carrot.

[ posted by Mr.P @ 04:25 ] 0 Comments

Tuesday, June 7