August - 2005
The Seven Altares are the most beautiful wateralls I have ever had the fortune to see, the cleansing waters truly refresh my soul, as I cross through each fall larger and louder than the last. I spend hours swimming and laughing, watching the dragonflies drink and mate, jumping off the rocks into the pristine blue green water.
-----------------------------------
We leave in the morning dark, we set our alarms and the group hussles together in the darkness, I pay for my room and walk to catch the next boat out. I go with the Israelis. We get on a boat and gently glide away into the darkness of the morning sea.
I decide to stick it out with Hoff and Zara, partly out of fear of being alone, mainly out of wanting to get inside Zaras pants. She has a delicious ass and the most gorgeous of smiles. She is bitchy but cute, moody and adorable. We get to the shore of a dirty market town, buy some supplies and onto a bus where I make sure to sit next to her.
We are on our way to an 'Ecological Park', the whole exercise screams of tacky tourism but I am not letting her go. We reach 'Park Ixobal'.. A set of prison cabins and mess hall located in the middle of a large clearing, hosting a big dirty pool and cages with a monkey and a beautiful red and green parrot. The prices are far beyond expensive, and we are not allowed to cook any of the food we'd bought. "You can only eat what is on offer!".. all exorbitantly priced for a worn and poor traveller.
I can't believe where my manly desires have led me to, completely astray, the place is full of Israelis, mostly arrogant, all speaking hebrew and making no attempt to include me in their pointless chit chat. I strike up an argument with management, demanding to be allowed use of the kitchen. "This is the first hostel I've been to where I cannot cook my food! This is a joke!"..
They wont change their mind, I use their kitchen anyway, sneaking out a few pieces of bread and some butter. I give up on Zara and sit down to play a board game with Hoff. Some sort of space strategy battle which keeps us warmly entertained. At night in our cabin they play me some horrendous Israeli rock 'music'.. I pretend to not mind while they delightedly sing along to the gurgled utterances of what must clearly be some obnoxious fool famous in his homeland for his absurdly high level of mediocrity. I learn some Hebrew by bugging Hoff to teach me all sorts of stupid saying and words, I keep at it for hours. By the end of the night I have the general populace convinced that I can understand what they are saying, and also make fun of them.
** Learning Hebrew with Pablo **
Ani Ohev Kofim Ve Gvina - I Like Monkeys and Cheese
Shalom - Hello
Ken - Yes
Lo - No
Tov - Good
Toda' - Thank You
Schmi Pablo - I am Pablo
Neim la Kir? - Whats your name?
Azov oti Imash ha - Friendly derogatory comment involving the third parties mother.
Yelda-iafa - Pretty Girl
Ein Kofim she medabrem Ivrit - Monkeys don't speak Hebrew
Ima shel'ha meriha K'mo hamutsim - Your mother smells like pickles
Ani olej; levashel - I am going to cook
Kulam ohavim le ehol beitzim im batzal - Everybody likes eating eggs with onions
Sliha aval otha meriha k'mo et hasir - Excuse me, but you smell like a pig. (dangerous)
