I was out of anything to write today so I found this that I wrote to a friend a year ago (exactly).
Definition / Crush : You're being yourself, you have nothing to lose, somebody notices how much you are yourself and likes you for your 'nothing to lose attitude'.. you don't care, you keep being yourself, then you notice this person more, and you realize they are special too, and they like you.. NOW you have something to lose.. how not to lose it? keep doing what you were doing before! what were you doing? you start *trying* to be yourself, trying to look like you have nothing to lose instead of *being*, first person subconsciously notices, you realize they do, so you do even MORE trying, eventually they smell what they imagine is a rat, you fuck up, they walk away. REPEAT.
You may have idealized expectations and thats also a bad thing, but its nice isnt it? daydreaming, and crushes aren't the best, crushes never work out, but theyre SO fun to have! Until your heart shatters, but then you get over it and its a feeling of relief, you're hurt, but free again, so you laugh at yourself, and it's nice.
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Today was the lunar eclipse, we saw it from the backyard. This floating red sponge ball.
How crazy these occurrances must have been for the ancients and primitives. An ominous event of deep significance surely, no wonder they were so obsessed with the stars and celestials, they which we did not understand, massive and ever present.
I believe our concepts, and fascinations with something 'higher', with 'god', arose and continue from a primitive wonder of the skies. Not to invalidate something higher yet. Indeed the celestials were the 'trigger'.
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And so the red moon marks the beginning of our birthday celebrations. Its Ben. Megs and My birthdays this month.
To celebrate we're having a Month Of Lucky Dips! We have 90 individual lucky dips inside a big frog container, every day we get to pull one out.
As Ben confidently said.. "I don't believe it would be a stretch of the imagination to say that this is going to be the best month of our lives, ever.
"Fate is for those too scared to choose their own destiny"
If I'm going to make anything with my life, I'm going to make it by default.
I don't want to get famous/popular/rich by hard work and effort. That's CHEATING. Anyone can "Make it" by working hard but who the hell WANTS TO? go through all that, by the time you've reached your goal you've fucked yourself up on too much work & focus.
What a SHAM.
Not me. I'll make it because I'm meant to, or not, but I'm not going to waste my genius on an elusive goal. fuckoff.
I'm not playing. ------------------------------- THIS IS A CHOICE (A philosophy!) - TAO%?......
There is no such 'good' art or 'bad' art. There's only fake art or real art.
A spontaneous manifestation of creative potential is real art, made under that intention nothing and no one can take anything away from it. It stands on its own as purely manifested.
High art annoys me. I find it contrived, self indulgent and evident; art is a scribble, a whistle, a hum, an accidental photo.
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The sun, oh the sun. Rejoice, for its rays fill me with life and energy, give meaning to my life, encourage me to move.
Spring is coming, I can feel it in my bones.
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Pizza Shop Wisdom -
I am a regular at Godfathers pizza in Sydney road,
"Hello my friend, I give you one dollar pizza today, how many do you like?"
I grab two.
I'm carrying my guitar, the don asks me if i came from the music studio. 'No' I reply, 'I come from the music shop.. Is there a studio? Im looking for people to play with!'.
"Yes, you go have a look! Here here.. I give you the address, maybe you find your future there!..
..All because you bought a piece a pizza har har!"
I laugh, "It happens like that sometimes!"
"Of course it does my friend, everything is by chance in this life' he smiles and hands me the slices. ' you take care!"
I smile back, thank him and walk away.
$2 for 2 pieces of pizza and one piece of wisdom. Not a bad deal.
Gunther - This dude is a God. Seriously. We found him by chance surfing itunes when Austin was over, and laughed for a week straight. Check out Tutti Frutti Summer Love.
Along with keeping up with the bother that is jobsearch networking and learning musical theory, a few interesting evenings have been had.
Steve had his girlfriend over from New Zealand, I lent him my room because his is kind of gross, they were happy, got together, then unhappy, and broke up, then got back together again, she left to NZ, and yesterday he got an sms announcing breakup.
Love. What an addictive mess it is.
I've been realizing that maybe it's time I get some love my way, It's been a long time, I still feel some of the emotional scarring of past relos, but chicks dig scars? you'd hope. Anyway there's a girl I may like, tho I'm not sure if I really do (confused huh) who happens to fall into a number of uncanny coincidences which I will not go into here.
After a few quieter weeks it was back to action this weekend. Friday night was spent watching old dvd's and smoking doobs with Caroline and Milo. Saturday was a little more exciting, I made a mix cd for Zoe with music in Spanish, we went to hers and sat by the sun as Caroline was her usual outspoken self and confessed that she often farts at work and blames it on the children. We all ate banana cake and blakava, thankful for the glimpse of sunlight while cursing winter and clouds.
We watched 'Ferris Buellers Day Off' (It's SO good, even now) and came home to find Ben and Megs wearing black facepaint and reading over some blueprints..
The Mission : Rooster Rescue , The Means : Van and White Sheet. 11.20 PM - I prep up and we're off, Caroline stays at HQ, I man the Van. Back into dark alleyway with monstrous, malnourished and captive rooster sitting on heat tank. Megs and Ben are scared. I move in, make eye contact with the rooster. He understands, sheet goes over, no struggle, into the box he goes, we run to the van and we're off to sneak him into the ecological park. We're worried but the fence is open. What luck! Rooster is in. Outcome : Success
Chicken Liberation Front begins.
Afterwards we went to a couple of parties, people asked about our facepaint, top secret we replied. One was Bernies party, everyone was dancing like crazy to Manu Chao. I danced with Zoe, she put on a poncho her grandfather gave her and moved like a hyped up go go dancer. Fanned the flames of the fire outside and danced some more to old reggae.
Walked home laughing and cheery.
Sunday we went Kayaking. Moscow, Ben and I in the back of the van, Megs and Nick in the front. Ben used some sheep fertilizer as a pillow. It was nice. I've never really Kayaked before but it was easy enough, and beautiful to watch the sun set from a floating position to see the beauty of colors and warm hues reflect and refract. I said thank you.
We also found a porno dvd on the beach. 'She Male Pool Party Orgy'. Bonus!
Ben got back unexpectedly early from his trip to Arnhem Land. He said hitching was slow and it didn't really work out as he intended but he had a great time anyway and got lots of sun. I was up early myself, being tired and without much to do we spent the morning watching a movie called Zeitgeist.
Zeitgeist Movie Review
'Zeitgeist' attempts to bring together a number of alternative theories and turns them an eye opening and entertaining ride to the common viewer. The movie is split into three parts, and discusses,
The origins of Religion (Jesus being the latest metaphorical development of pagan Sun gods and their myths).
The war on Terror (a staged and never ending war to help cement governments power and erode civil rights)
Our current social situation (big money and the role it plays in global politics and development).
All these points are addressed in fast paced collages of video, articles, references, interviews etc. At proving these, or rather, backing its sources, the movie fails somewhat, in that random interviews and audio can be taken out of context.
It's well worth the admission price however (free), if you can sit past the first part which goes on a bit. The level of depth the film reaches in a short amount of time and the ground it covers is fascinating to say the least.. If only 10% of this film is true, (and I think a lot more is) we're in big trouble.
I've done research on the themes covered by this movie for a long time myself, having always had a fascination with alternate explanations and news to the 'official line'; I stop short of calling any of these alternative theories 'conspiracy' theories because of the negative connotations the word carries. Even tho time and history have shown that conspiracies are common..
Zeitgeist raises some BIG questions, and most of all, it elicits an emotional reaction. (Hearing a man on the phone as he dies at the WTC stumped me). It makes you angry, it makes you think, it helps you consider alternatives. To me this is the most important thing Zeitgeist offers.
At this I would also comment that Boing Boing and their correspondent Jay Kinney are particularly guilty of negatively influencing my viewpoint of this film before I had actually seen it. Making it sound like some irrational hodge podge, I went in expecting the worst.
However I found Zeitgeist gripping, moving, emotional, fascinatingly articulate and forward. I do recommend this movie above almost any other regarding issues some of us would rather not face. Mainly the questions of 9/11, the radical shift in government power, communal apathy and shady business dealings. I highly recommend it.
More fun than The Corporation, more rational than David Icke, more balanced than Alex Jones, more diverse than Loose Change, more dangerous to the status quo than Michael Moore.
P.S - I particularly give credit to the filmmakers who have no affiliation it would seem to any party/group/agenda, and claim no credit, the movie is for the most part assembled by an anonymous.
I certainly don't know what's best for me. I don't know who I am entirely and I don't really know where I'm headed.
However, I know what I don't want. I know what isn't good for me. I know who I am not, and I know where I don't want to end up.
Isn't it funny that we can make more sense of the negative than the ambiguous positive??
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Do I want a girlfriend?? I don't know. Maybe. I get lonely sometimes. But do I need that in my life? .. Do I want to run a business or buy a house? I don't know! I haven't done it yet. How the hell should I know??
I guess I'll try it and see..
Some people seem to know what they want. To me, those people are crazy. (or maybe I'm jealous).
I don't want to be lonely or bored for extended periods. But time and time again I've been shown that chance seems to decide what's best for me much better than I could have known for myself. So I let it go. I try to do what feels right today and not think about some elusive outcome or future. If I do, I get sick and depressed.
This conditioning of -knowing where you're headed- is all wrong. It's all about knowing where you ARE.
Of course it's probably unwise to take this philosophy too far, but isn't anything taken too far a little kooky? (sometimes deliciously so).
As promised this is the first of many a daily update.
Blogs are changing, now its all about linking to stuff and 'passing on the word'. I could continue with the narcissist approach of telling all about my wonderful life. But its good, anything big I will type about but more thoughts and links I will be doing now.
Soon I'll make a very long 'life cap' update, until then, this is what I have to give..
This radio show comes out once a week, it is really quite good. If you have nothing better to do and feel like being indoctrinated into a kooky cult by a couple of weirdos. This might be the most efficient way to go about it.
This song I am currently learning on the Guitar. It is quite simply the best song ever made. Not my favorite song, but the best song. You can never get sick of it. Once, me and my friends listened to it straight for sixteen hours and no one complained. This is the mark of a truly great song. Click the link to download it. (And here's 57 covers of it)
The man has some gall. He basically stands next to George Bush in front of the white house correspondents dinner, the toughest audience ever, and makes fun of them, likening the administration to Nazis. He repeatedly brings up their crimes and low approval rating. Laura Bush even tells him to get fucked. If you have a fast internet connection, this is really worth watching.
Steve writes a generous Blog with information about self development. I found this article particularly pertinent (Heh, I said pertinent). Lifting some of my favorite parts from his article '10 Reasons why you should never get a job' "Many employees believe getting a job is the safest and most secure way to support themselves.
Morons.
Social conditioning is amazing. Its so good it can even make people believe the exact opposite of the truth.
...You only get paid a fraction of the real value you generate. Your real salary may be more than triple what you’re paid, but most of that money you’ll never see. It goes straight into other peoples pockets.
...Getting a job is like enrolling in a human domestication program. You learn how to be a good pet.
Look around you. Really look. What do you see? Are these the surroundings of a free human being? Or are you living in a cage for unconscious animals? Have you fallen in love with the color beige? Hows your obedience training coming along?
Does your master reward your good behavior? Do you get disciplined if you fail to obey your master’s commands? Is there any spark of free will left inside you? Or has your conditioning made you a pet for life?
...
Did you know that the word boss comes from the Dutch word baas, which historically means master? Another meaning of the word boss is -a cow or bovine.- And in many video games, the boss is the evil dude that you have to kill at the end of a level.
So if your boss is really your evil bovine master, then what does that make you? Nothing but a turd in the herd."
On that note, I'm looking for a job but refuse to compromise. My last job at a Virgin call centre was soul destroying, I felt exactly as stated above. Like an animal working with other dumb animals sedate and docile.
To explore new avenues I recently just signed up to a business course in a youth enterprise cooperative called Slingshot. They offer support, accredited training and cheap color glossy printing. They're going to help me maybe turn some of my ideas into a business. I have a lot.
I also applied for a job at the Museum but I haven't heard back. I'm getting edgy.. In the meantime I'm going to volunteer for some events like the fringe festival.
This blog is getting a complete revamp. In content, style , update frequency, hell I may even change the color. (Should I?) Here's the goss..
I'm a slacker on this blog, the problem is one of momentum and motivation. In order to re-establish these I am reworking the blog, and putting up a post per day. Technology is changing, we're moving forward, the future is TODAY! Here! NOW! This means that..
MY blog will no longer be slow connection friendly. I will be embedding videos, mp3's, flash, there will be links and new finds and all sorts of crap.. etc etc.. Basically I'm gonna go crazy.
As of tomorrow the updates begin..
I leave you all with a video of Dick Cheney being particularly honest, articulate, and may I say, even human?
