The Monkey's Cheese!

They all came to this island and turned it into an overcast storm of depression."

"they brought the bad weather with them, assholes, so im on this mountani bungalow with a broken window and an insane storm outside, and for a while i forget how poetic the setting is, but i dont even have a pen or paper, so i made my way down to town through the mountain and decide to spoil myself, so i bought shoes (YES!!), a towel (OH GOD YES), a book (WOO!), incense (awww) and a candle (ooh). And now im going to have a beautiful lonely bungalow mountainside timeout!"

-- megs and i split, slept well, next day caught boat out to phanganm met indian canadian business dudes, pvran and jatin, went to their nice room, stashed my stuff walked for hours looking for marc and christian, amazingly found christian, felt so lonely for a while, we walked around and lost the canadian indians, we bought buckets and walked from end to end marvelling at the colors, lights, sounds and insanity of the beach party, we watched the burning sign, got another bucket and started getting sdrunk, gave water to a dancing girl, christian and i shared girl stories, sucha a sweet innocent but open minded and excited dude, as we were walking i saw a guy firedancing, i can do that, i said, i got the stick and put on my own show, people cheered - you are a cool guy - christian said, haha i smiled, we then sat down where an american girl somehow started talking to me, she was cool, and cute, and we talked well for hours, about politics and life, why aern you dancing she asked, because i enjoy the company, youre thebest she replied! your a cool guy, lets dance, i met her friends, her bro danny, merlin her friend etc, we danced and danced, i went of dancing, it wasa lot of fun, but i had to use the bathroom, went to the canadian indians room, they were there, phew, used the bathroom and came out couldnt find the girls, was lonely but found them by the water, we went swimming together, -now or never- i thought, i tolf\d her about her eyes and the strength in her face, she smiled but it was awkward, suddenly they had to leave, no probs, they still liked me, i saw them again not long after and explained that it wasnt just a crack on, that i meant it, she thanked me, she was cute, i saw her in her undies in the ocean! oh well, alone again and with christian missing, i had nothing to do, walked into the beach and who did i find sleeping but marc!! he was on the ground, i laughed and woke him up, the timing was impeccable, we got more drinks, he got some bad cheap ecstasy, i sat and played bongos with the rhythm of a loose and drunken man, i,e perfectly well, people crowded around and a little dance mornign party started, people wanted to have a go, i encouraged them -you can do no wrong - i said -just hit the thing! - we jammed, my fingers got sore, a cute girl jammed with me, we complimented each others eyes -you are a cool guy - she said, i thanked her, asked for a kiss, my audacity was a little too much, but she wasnt offended \. She had to go, would be on the beach later, i would be gone by then. Marc and i went chasing an afterparty, a pissed off german street kid called Nicolas confronted me, he put half a pill in my hand, - i give you half a pill, you buy me a drink yeah? i liked him straigt away, - come with me, lets dance, i like you- he followed, we all ended up on the street \, trashed, barely able to talk, waiting for the next tip, i commented on megan being a bitch -ay ay ay, why you travel with a stupid person - asked nicolas, - dude the only redeeming thing about that girl is she will fuck - said marc, an old man sat by bemused and smiling. We finally found a party and started dancing, suddenly i couldnt find marc and was talking to a cute pommy girl, she had beautiful eyes, she said i was beautiful. i said she was. We pashed. Lets go she said. I followed, we walked along the beach, she had a boyfriend she said 'oh well, what '' we finished the sentence together 'happens in thailand stays in thailand!!'. We giggled and went to her dorm, a den full of girls sleeping, so we sayed out the front porch by the moutnainside and made out, she took off her clothes, i looked at her with great appreciation, she was smitten (haha), we pashed more, 'dont cum inside me', 'i wont cum inside you'. It went in for a couple of times, but she got cold feet, 'i need to stop, i have a boyfriend'. I made it very easy for her to stop, 'no problem, i understand'. I passed out on my boxers on her front porch and woke up at 8 pm the next day, confused and trashed still. I made my way down the moutnain to a perfect, beautiful full blood red moon floating on the horizon level with the ocean unlike anything i had ever seen before, i checked my email, left a ntoe for the canadian indians, ate ravenously, and followed a tip from marc that he would be at a beach on the other side of the island. They wanted to charge me 1000 baht. I flipped out 'Are you crazy?!', this is the first time id been angry at any thai, i walked off in a huff, they followed me, i argued and argued, finally got them down to 800 and took a long night ride through the jungle to the other side. confused, trashed, out of it, sick, and loving every single bump and bounce on the back of the open air ute. --

--

walked in to marc sleeping, 'hwo did you get here?! the stars have a way!' , next day met his friends bill and alison, sat around talked shit, drunk hong thong, went to paradise resort, mac slept, i swum in the ocean, talked to bill he was teaching alison to swim, alison liked me, got an awesome massage as i could not sleep, then that night we went to iai bar, did a little of firespinnign without fire, then from there to fnky buddha, there was this girl that had beent rying to get into the room,, pommy girl, danced, magic, burbnt cigarrettes on each oher, met lots of people, day, anna, amer, poms, had a joint, danced and danced and danced and i was in the zone and two girls were dancing for my attention, anyway eventually walked hom with Laura, the pommy girl from that day, on the way she gopt hasseld by a gang of poms, two followed, one got on my face, he wanted to kill me, "you cheeky bastard, come here and ill drown you, you better be gone tomorrow, this is my island you little fucker' i wouldnt give him fear, he left, i went back to her room, we kised a little but no more, then we wanted to go to the beach, i tried again, she couldnt, i passed out on the hammock, next day confised, that day we did nothing at all, still hungover and out of it from the pills, saw laura but all the magic was gone, i went swimming on my own and climbed a rock to jump off, marc taught me some meditation, 'youre a cool guy pablo, youre funny, people like you, yuo have an open mind and an insatiale intellectual curiosity, with anyone else i wouldnt mind, but i really like you' i thankdd him and told him he was the same to me, i told him how i thought megan was a test of buddhist patience, or so i interpreted it that way, but eventually i just had to tell her to leave. he laughed 'even buddhists tell people to fuck off!! haha, youre better off without her, trust me', i thanked him, we had more hong thong walked around but out of energy and with nothing to do he went to bed, i walked around feeling lonely and useless, then went to bed too.

next day we were no better, marc was out of it, no seratonin, dulled brain receptors all due to the bad ecstasy, i had to leave early. he was surprised, we'd eb sadder to see each other go were we not so out of it. I hopped on the taxi and rode onto the pier, waited reading a readers digest go on a catamaran and reached ko tao. which felt just as lonely, but with babes. Id missed Christian, i got some food, then went to inquire about diving, luckiliy they had a room for me, a mountain bungalow, it was great, i walked down to kill time with a massage but all i found was a go go bar, so played connect four and jenga with a girl called Joy. She was cute. went home but couldnt find my bungalow. for hours i looked and couldnt find it. I went back to hang with joy then slept out. the next morning i foudn the bunalow, as soon as i walked in a storm broke out, i was locked in the house for hours, eventually i got so hungry that i had to head into town, finally the storm subsided. I decided to pamper myself, too bad id missed my dive, i bought some incense, thongs and a book.--

-- i went for a massage / hot shower in this two story massage spa place in the corner of a dirt road, it looked big and reputable, i really needed a shower so i went in, they gave me tea and washed my feet, i went upstairs and then i realized i was in trouble.. they pumped the most soul destroying honky tonk elevator music out on repeat, it looped every 20 mins, this old woman gave me a massage, she was old, she did not want to be there, i did not want to be there, the music repeated, then it was too cold, then it was too hot, i lay there and could hear the clock ticking, as this old woman heartlessly rubbed my back and i pretended to not be begging for death.. she left the room for a minute, as the music piped again on repeat and the steam rose from the floor i said 'hello satan'. I know he heard me. --

- The last days were a flyby of leaving the island and saying goodbyes to recently met friends, and it wasnt sad, i was happy to leave and move on, as typical when i dislike a place its time to go, caught the late boat to samui, to beautiful amity bungalow, got a nice room, swum, went to the resort pool and swum, had a huge seafood platter and slept, next day got an early plane, and from bangkok airport to the great palace, and marvelled at the architecture and gold, and did the tourist thing, toothpick in mouth rode a tuk tuk to MBK to shop like crazy, rabid purchase insanity which took too long and caught a late motorbike to weave through traffic, pick up hong thong, fly past buses and blaze past cars, just in time to the airport after going to the wrong one, driver and i hugged each other "YES!", i gave him a big tip, and as i left on the back of a van "You'll never walk alone", and these words were ominous, and i smiled, with perfect change for a final meal at the airport foung megan in healthy glowing spirits and a big hug, we excitedly told each other our stories, and we were friends again, and thankful both for our split, and the plane returned, while megan couldnt sleep and i read slash's autobiography, came home, to the freezing new winter of Melbourne, and everything was fine as we eagerly told Megs our stories in the morning! -

HAPPY ENDING